Hi there, this us the British Kabayan, your friendly outgoing Brit ( Maputing Tao) who is in training to become a Filipino. As part of my training back in 2015 I did some people watching when I was staying in El Nido Cove and this is what I wrote:
My fellow guests
Well after two weeks in this beach resort I think I have managed to categorize my fellow guests. Whilst they have come and gone (average stay 3 nights) they are exhibiting similar characteristics, and without wanting to stereotype, this appears to be based on nationality!
Phil Am couples
Petite and immaculately dressed (for the beach, for breakfast, for dinner) , always with huge sunglasses, these are the American’s who once had a bit of Filipino in their blood . They want to return to their “roots” but cannot speak a word of Tagalog and are so used to living in the States that they think El Nido is the same.
They constantly raise their hand at all meals to get the attention of the staff ( as if they do not get enough attention in winter jackets, Gucci bags and huge sunglasses when it’s dark at dinner time) .
They have a long list of demands at reception whenever they return from their trips:
“Okay so tomorrow we want trip B with Kayaks but the vegetarian lunch and a shopping trip to the Mall on the deserted island”.
My favourite question this week was “ Is there a juice bar open in town at 7.30 a.m. ?”.
You do have to give it to the staff for smiling sweetly and saying “No I don’t think so sir”.
I would have lied and said:
“Sure its right opposite Mc Donald’s and next to Starbucks. That’s if you want the Drive through Juice bar. The walk in one is next to Jollibee in the Mall”.
Mind you these people know so little about the Philippines they would probably have to Google Jollibee to see what it was!
The girl groups
We had a group of three young women stay the other week – every time they came to eat they needed a separate table for their i phones, I pads, and assorted electronic devices, Gucci bags, hats , towels and other “ beach gear”.
I guess my standards of modesty have been influenced by living for 5 years in the Middle East . I will leave the reaction to their “beach wear” to the 11 year old boy staying here with his parents.
When he walked past the 3 ladies to get some juice at breakfast he could not keep his eyes off the collection of breasts on display and was heard saying to his dad
“Wow will you get a look at THEM”.
( Editors note- I can just imagine Phil lapping this up and whispering - you tell the Breast stories Mr P, so much better than Wikipedia!)
The David Baileys’
There is no denying that the view from El Nido Cove is spectacular and the restaurant is in front of the hotel by the beach . It overlooks the islands in the distance where the sun sets. Having stayed here twice I have more than enough photos of the place. At the end of the day it’s a restaurant where people come to eat- not the paparazzi pit at the Oscars!
Sometimes the whole restaurant service comes to a grinding halt as people want the staff to take photos of them in front of the sunset eating. One photo is fine but when it has to be one with each phone it slows things down a bit.
The cheek of people takes my breath away. Frequently people arrive at the hotel (and its a 30 min bike ride from town so there is no passing traffic) . While one person stops at the desk and ask how much the rooms are the others head straight for the restaurant area and wander around taking selfies and pictures of other peoples food ( like they could afford to stay here!) . Then they all leave when their request for 70% discount so they can afford one room for 10 people is turned down.
The Sportsmen
The hotel has Kayaks which are available for guest use- and mostly couples use them to visit the nearby islands. However we had one guy last week who arrived, stripped to his Lycra shorts and headed out in his Kayak and just went up and down the beach showing off his muscles. Others treat the hotel pool like it’s an Olympic training area and swim up and down the pool with turns at each end until eventually all the water has left the pool and they end up in a puddle at the bottom by the plug!
The people watchers
We just sit at the back watching everyone else make a fool of themselves! I really cannot understand why people pay for a trike to have a 30 minute bone shaking journey into El Nido town when you can have so much free entertainment right here in the hotel!
I just reread this and could not stop laughing and I have decided to dedicate this to all the hard working staff who worked at El Nido Cove over the years and put up with us "Guests".
November 2018 Team building event at El Nido COVE
Here's to , in no particular order, with help from Kuya Ran , a list of all the staff who ever worked at Cove:
Sir Marco - Officer in Charge - now retired in Manila! Marz-- Massage and waitress- now owner of Marz enterprises in Sibaltan Sheila- washing and waitress Ran- a bit of everything Arnel or Balong- the serious one Edzel - waiter Rodel - waiter Robert - Housekeeping Gideon - Housekeeping John Excuse me - Waiter Erwin ( brother of Eric) - waiter Ritchelle - Front Office and mother of my favourite boys Dainsy - Front office Glen - Housekeeping
Until the next time ...
Ingat Palagi
Mahal Kita
Kita Kits ( nearly 80 working days to go)
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Hello, I am The British Kabayan! Feel free to read my stories.
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